First of all, let me take a minute to express my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to teachers all over the planet who take on the gargantuan task of educating the younger generation. No doubt you’ve heard all of the hype over appreciating teachers and how teachers touch the future. And I’m not disputing that; really I’m not. What really began to dawn on me, after the millionth ironic tribute to teachers (who are STILL reeling from the Wisconsin fallout), that people, in general, throw around the term ‘appreciation’ rather easily. Does anyone REALLY know what the term means? And begging that question, does anyone really know HOW to appreciate anyone else? We, at the Elite Manners School of Etiquette, believe that many people might need a ‘brush up’ in the appreciation arena.

 

How often have you heard the phrase, “Thank you. I really appreciate that.” ?  And, equally, how many times (c’mon…you KNOW who you are) have thought to yourself, “Yeah, right.” Being appreciated, truly appreciated, is a gracious art. If you truly want to show your appreciation, there are many sincere ways in which to accomplish it, aside from the phrase, or the unoriginal token of flowers or candy.

 

1. Follow Through. It’s all about following up with someone. Simply thanking them at the time that they render the assistance is quite perfectly acceptable, but then you MUST remember to follow up with a sincere thanks later on, specifically mentioning how it made you feel, how it helped you, and offer to reciprocate, if possible.

 

2. A genuine token of affection and gratitude. The person you are seeking to show appreciation for is, believe it or not, a human being. Aside from the role they provide in the workplace, they have dreams, desires, likes and dislikes. Find a token that will show that you ‘know’ them and that you truly appreciate the work or assistance they gave to you. For example: Does your secretary take a trip to Key West, Florida every year? Perhaps getting her a slice of key lime pie to say thank you, would be a most unexpected and completely acceptable way to show your appreciation.

 

3. Make the gesture of appreciation timely. Waiting a month to say ‘thank you’ is too late and will seem contrived and forced.

 

4. Make the note personal. Do not send a generic note to everyone. Take the time to hand write it. It will make a difference. Use a nice note card, not a scrap of paper, to send the thank you note, and despite what you may ‘feel’ like doing, send the Thank You note IN THE MAIL. This truly shows that what they did meant a lot to you. Though it is a fine medium, email is too impersonal if you truly want to thank someone.

 

Manners, etiquette, getting along with your fellow human being are something that, as a society, we would do well to remember. It is when people feel taken for granted, overworked, undervalued and underappreciated that a person can become sullen and distant. It is such a simple gesture that goes a long way and taking the time to do it right can have the intended effect of lifting someone’s spirits and of sending the right message: I truly appreciate you and what it is that you do. Now, THAT’s appreciation.

 

Let’s Live Life on the Manners Side,

Liz

 

For more information on Thank You notes, and other matters ‘manners’ you can check out my book. It’s cute. It’s pink. It’s full of the stuff that your grandmother knew and you were never taught. For all things manners and etiquette feel free to visit me (and leave me a note!) at: www.elitemannersschoolofetiquette.com

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