I must make a confession. Sometimes, when I’m out and about I manage to ‘overhear’ conversations. Eavesdropping being what it is, I sometimes hear the most interesting things. One of those phrases would be: “But, Mom……(insert eye rolling and foot stomping here) why do we have to have manners, anyway? It’s just stupid stuff.” Yes, dear readers, this is the phrase that I frequently overhear from time to time. Sometimes I intervene and assist, and other times I pretend not to be listening, just to see if they can teach me something I didn’t know. I’m pretty sure I might need to seek therapy for my predilection to overhearing others’ conversations. However, it makes great material for a blog, doesn’t it?

One of the best answers I’ve heard from one parent to the next is that manners are about RESPECT. Aretha Franklin said it best: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.   A person who exhibits manners and refinement commands respect from those around her, and she doesn’t have to lift a finger or say a word, really. It’s a matter of attitude. An air of respect says that not only does this person have respect for herself, but for others as well. If you are in a business situation, this is particularly important. (Oh…shameless plug here).

Secondly, it is the truth that you only have a matter of seconds to make a first impression on someone. If you seem unsure or awkward at the dinner table, unsure of what fork to use, or you manage to speak SEEFOOD (you know..when you talk, you SEE food?....ug), then the impression you leave is not a good one. Why do manners matter? Because you want people to think well of you.

And manners extend to more than just the dinner table. They extend into all walks of life. From speaking correctly,  acting courteous, engaging in good personal grooming habits, to selecting makeup and clothes that flatter and send the right message, manners can make or break a first date, a job interview, or presentation. People will retain that first impression, even if you are a brilliant person with drop dead gorgeous hair.

Have you ever stopped to consider why military institutions require their soldiers, especially in basic training, to keep clean barracks? Why are they required to keep the floors so clean you could eat off of them and beds made so tight that you could bounce a quarter off of them? It is all about a mental discipline and a restructuring of their mindset to include feeling pride in their appearance and to boost the morale of everyone there. Manners are so important that every military branch uses it to show respect, mental readiness, and to keep things efficient. But most importantly it sends a non-verbal message to each soldier: you are somebody, now act like it.

And that’s what it really boils down to it…if you think about it. You are somebody. A good somebody that anyone would be lucky to know. Now act like it.  Or let me help you to learn how to act like it.

This is me stepping down off of my soapbox, now. But note that I have done so with grace and style. (giggle).

As Always Dear Readers….see you on the manners side.

Liz

Look for more details on this and other related etiquette at: www.elitemanners.com .  

All rights reserved: Liz Stover, Elite manners School of Etiquette 2011